Ranting and Raving: Cribs

In the tradition of my earlier ramblings on the practice of pregnancial estimation, I offer you the following...

So we’ve been looking at cribs for the last couple of weeks. And if there ever was a back-asswards industry, this is it. First of all, there are about four thousand different models of cribs. It’s a ludicrous number of choices. And of course it’s “the most important purchase you’ll make” and “a crucial element in the safety of your child”. OK, fine, so we’ll shop around and find one we like. But then how many crib options do you think most baby stores have out on the floor to look at? Eh, six or seven. Stellar. So helpful.

But that’s just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Once you actually decide on a crib, you go to the store to order it. Yes, you read that right. You don’t go to buy it, you go to order it. Because the stores don’t actually stock these cribs. They order them on a one-off basis as they are requested by customers. And then you have to wait for it to be delivered, usually from somewhere overseas, and sometimes as long as 10-12 weeks! This simply boggles my mind. News flash to the baby industry: we’re not talking about new carpet or a kitchen table here. If you have to go a couple months eating dinner using TV trays on the subfloor, yeah, it sucks, but you’ll get by. But man, when you need a crib, you need a freaking crib! How hard is it to keep a few in stock?

This got me thinking...12 weeks is a hell of a long time. What could I do with 12 weeks? A little brainstorming and a little research yielded the following. So now I present you with a brief list of things that you can do in fewer than 12 weeks:

• Quit your job (2 weeks)
• Fly around the world in a hot air balloon (3 weeks)
• Return to normal activities after hip replacement surgery (6 weeks)
• Watch the entirety of the NBA Playoffs (7 weeks)
• Go on the Undertones 1999 Summer Tour (8 weeks)
• Swim the Amazon River (9 weeks)
• Deliver $1M worth of consulting work (10 weeks, if all goes well)

And last, but not least:

• Invade Europe (11 weeks, from D-Day to the crossing of the Seine)

That’s right, you can execute the largest seaborne invasion in human history, from first landing to breakout into the continent, in less time than it takes to order and deliver a lousy crib. I sense a business opportunity here...